Journal Entry 11.14.2013I woke up mad this morning; interesting sensation, to say the least. Memories are starting to float up into my awareness about some of the times I gave my power away to others, not necessarily by agreeing to what they were saying, but not saying anything at all.
During the time when I lived in a cult…oh, yes, I’m a “wild” one… I was telling someone about one of my past life remembrances. Since we spent a lot of time doing degrees (their name for chanting and affirmations) especially using the Violet Flame, it was to be expected that “stuff” might come up. My stuff was old memories. I related my story, but the reaction I got from the other person startled me. She told me not to share these glimpses because other people or some of the other students would be jealous. I didn’t understand why anyone would be jealous, as I didn’t feel like I was showing off or anything. I was just sharing what, at least to me, was a perfectly natural and wonderful experience. The way this other person reacted to my story was as if I would somehow be in danger of being different, a threat to others? I didn’t understand her concern, then, and still don’t now. I just thought, what a curious thing to say!
I’ve gotten that kind of reaction or similar to many things that I would offer up as a perception only to be soundly rejected or told that I didn’t know what I was talking about. Actually I did know what I was talking about and the evidence is piling up daily as our abilities to open up to worlds both seen and unseen is enhanced by our transformational processes. I know what I know, without knowing where the knowledge comes from and that’s okay by me. One’s mind doesn’t need to understand everything that’s going on and certainly won’t as it isn’t designed to function in the fifth dimensional frequencies.
I know I’m not alone in my experience in being around closed mind people, even those who I considered as being “spiritual”. Hmm, well, in paraphrasing Forrest Gump, “spiritual is as spiritual does.” And many of those so-called spiritual people were still working within the limited confines of the third dimension. This was over 20 years ago; folks, and hopefully, at least some of us have emerged out those particular shadows. Those folks were just as guilty of giving away their power to a charismatic leader as I was for a time. I grew out of it and learned from the experience. The cult, actually Church Universal & Triumphant, was the first place where I learned about the Ascended Masters and the Elohim. I knew about the angels and Archangels already, as well as some of the saints despite the fact that I wasn’t a Catholic.,
Now, with the structures and foundations of the third dimension having been officially removed, we don’t have any more excuses to give our power away. The act of doing so will tend to lead to some mighty interesting circumstances until you finally figure out that you can actually do something about it and start working on cleaning out closets, etc. As Jim Self has stated periodically, it takes responsibility, the ability to respond or not (you DO have a choice) after observing what is going around you. We’re not pointing fingers here, people; just realize that it will do not good for you or anyone else to continue to negate your right to reclaim your power and sovereign authority (like the sound of that!!!). And there isn’t any reason to be afraid; you’re not alone in moving through the last remainders of fear, frustration and anger.
A lot of people in our society are really afraid of anger. While I’m not suggesting that you go up to someone and yell at them, you can be very polite and very firm, and just say, “No.” I have to do this all the time with offenders (convicts, felons, inmates). These are people who are at the extreme bottom of the social scale, such as it is, and have often not received very good instruction in social skills in childhood. They tend to have a strong sense of entitlement and being owed something from everyone else on the planet. Interesting perspective on life, but it’s probably not going to win friends to your cause. Of course, many offenders are from the generation where a lot of Indigos were born, a large soul group that came in to be system-busters. Only problem, many of those folks got busted by the system and have closed down their spiritual gifts and abilities. Anger and an inability to listen are problems with some of this population. Life is an adventure and it’s what you make of it. I understand where they’re coming from, because I carry an energy pattern similar to the Indigos, but have to allow them their experiences.
I have long understood that in giving my power away (what a set-up) that I was moving through what so many earth humans have experienced for millennia, being dominated by a very powerful few, without much recourse. The energy supporting the controllers has shifted, leaving them behind, although it’s not totally apparent just how great a shift has already occurred when you glimpse at the evening news (if you can wade through all the gossip!). And they want you to believe that they’re still in charge. They’re not, not any more.
Off on a different subject (which I can do here since it is a “journal entry”) I went on a long walk after work. It was one of those rare warm autumn days, with blue bird skies studded with white and gray puffy clouds. A waxing moon was rising above the Blues and the last gold and orange leaves were clinging to some trees. Stunning contrasts and marvels if the eye could take it in. I’m very aware that most people don’t even “see” the beauty that surrounds them. I usually take a camera along as I’m always seeing things and delight in catching something odd, like the reflection of trees in a still pond, the shadows falling in linear fashion on a large mound… ducks on the pond. They’re simple things, but all hold a certain quality of beauty that is unique. I love digital cameras!
I let go of my anger hours ago. I listened to an offender who was trying hard to manipulate me into giving him what he wanted. I told him, “No,” very politely, but firmly. Believe me, working in a prison is good for an ultra-sensitive being such as me; you learn good boundaries or you don’t stay inside. And then I listened to another offender tell me about the ups and downs of having cirrhosis. He had Hepatitis C for years, but the cirrhosis was a lot more serious and has the potential of killing him eventually. It’s a very slow, painful way to die and he told me, in all sincerity that he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy. You can learn things from these guys if you treat them with respect and dignity.
We’re all here to experience different things. And in the new world that surrounds us even now, suffering and pain will be no more. Are you willing to let go of hanging onto suffering and pain, your resentment, grief and anger and all those other emotions, thoughts and beliefs that you thought defined you as a human being. Only you can decide to let go and let the love that surrounds you enter your heart and begin to dance with the love within. Only you can take the first steps to realizing that you really are free to make choices now, that you don’t have to react or think in the same manner that you did ten or twenty years ago. You are the ruler of your world; take up your mantle and be who you’re meant to be. Follow your heart’s guidance and listen.
Move through your hesitation and self-judgment and be willing to experiment. Only through playing and being open to discovering new ways of perceiving your world will you discover the range of your abilities and gifts. All of us have at least 25 different ways of perceiving the world that are extra-sensory outside the parameters set by the limitations of our five physical senses and the logic of our rational mind. Apparently we use these senses all the time, but many of us deny that we see with our heart, hear with our skin, feel with our ears, know things that no one tells us, and so many other things… because of how and what we’ve been taught.
I don’t remember having any “special” friends when I was a child, but I’ve been told by elder relatives that I was quite a lively child. By ten years or so, that liveliness had nearly shut down. There were always some experiences that I couldn’t explain in “normal” terms, so I kept my ears and eyes open for possible explanations anywhere I could find them. I found a lot of what I was seeking in fairy tales, science fiction and eventually in fantasy stories, especially stories about beings with special abilities, including telepathy, manifestation, the ability to communicate with animals or beasts (like dragons), the ability to perform magical feats, to prophesize and other wonderful things. And I knew that there was a grain (more than a grain) of truth in these tales despite the adults telling me that they were just stories. And I know I was not alone in searching for answers.
My search led me into metaphysics and learning about channelers, healers and other amazing people. And now, I am beginning to manifest some abilities that I would have discounted or avoided doing just a few years ago due to fear of being “taken” over. No one can dominate you if you do not let them. I have chosen to be a sovereign being and it feels good.
May the dawn of your day find you willing to discover the beauty that lies within. I know you will enjoy the journey once you let go of hesitation, self-judgment and fear.
Love and kisses,
Eliza Ayres
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