There is a flow of energy and outcomes that happens once we set out on the clarity path to get knowledge and understanding. We want knowledge because it’s what is going to help us get to the next step and to get unstuck. We want understanding because we want to know why things happen the way they do. Frankly, I believe that it is our quest for knowledge and understanding that is the reason we get stuck in the first place. Our desire to know why without being willing to follow the clarity – truth – consequences path will always be a revolving door of healing, with frustration, disappointment, and limitations or blocks preventing our progress.
I think we ask for clarity without understanding exactly what that entails and what happens when we do get clarity. As I have written and said before, clarity just makes things clear. It does not solve anything. We want clarity because we want the truth, we want to know what is happening. But is that the truth? No, we don’t really want to know the truth, we want to know why something is happening to us, what others’ motivations are, what is wrong with us and why we are being betrayed, rejected, abandoned, or disrespected in some way.
We want to know why others seem to get what they want and we do not.
We want to know why our mother didn’t love us (I hear this a lot from clients) or loved our sister or brother more.
We want to know why our partner left us, broke our heart, betrayed us, or took advantage of us.
We want to know why our loved ones prefer to live alone in their darkness than to be with us in our light.
We want to know why our sacrifices yield no results except more pain and suffering.
We want to know why Source allows our suffering while we believe that we have been promised a joyful life.
We want to know why we aren’t happy while we’re trying to do everything the right way.
We want to know the ‘why’ of everything because then we will understand our challenges and can figure out how to end them. This will get us unstuck and we can move forward. And we think (and are sometimes told) that clarity is the answer. But that is not quite true.
As I said, clarity makes things clear and removes the veils from the truth. Now we see what is in front of us and that will inspire us to take action. Right? Not quite. Now we get stuck even though we have clarity and we know the truth.
The reason we get stuck and stay that way is our fear of consequences. Yes we want to have clarity and to know the truth but we know that taking this step may result in a transformation we do not think we are ready for.
Clarity and truth can change things and some of those changes will mean a big life transformation that may end situations that we are not quite ready to end yet.
Maybe we have too much time and energy invested in them and we are waiting for a payoff.
Maybe we don’t want to be alone or feel like we have failed, so we are going to give the person or situation a few more chances to work out the way we had hoped.
Maybe we are not ready to face the judgment and criticism we expect from others if we are too happy or too successful.
Maybe we are not ready to handle the guilt over not meeting others’ expectations or needs.
Maybe we are afraid to be shamed for our actions or for abandoning those who ‘need’ us.
So we set our intention for clarity and then we see truth. More succinctly, we see things as they really are, without the illusions and expectations, without the embellishments, hope, and wishful thinking. And we either stop or we move ahead.
One of our toughest lessons is acceptance – to accept people as they choose to be, without making excuses or seeing them in a much higher light than they are capable of holding. We know they can do better, so we’ll just hold that as an intention and wait for them to fulfill it. We know they ‘didn’t really mean that’ so we’ll ignore it and show them how loving, kind, compassionate, and tolerant we are.
But we’re the loser here because we are not supposed to be working so hard to change people or to change the world – see the definition of acceptance above.
Instead, we need to seek clarity in our own healing path. Why are we being so hard on ourselves while we give everyone else a free pass? Why do we allow ourselves to suffer in the name of our ‘light work’ and support others’ dreams and not our own?
Why do we take on the same challenges in every life time and hope that ‘this time’ will be different?
We have to look at the clarity – truth – consequences healing path.
Clarity is what we seek when we want to see beyond the illusion but we often use clarity to look at someone else’s illusion – the illusion of why they do not love, honor, and respect us. First we have to be willing to see beyond our own illusion. What are we not willing to look at or to see in its true light, stripped of our expectations, hopes, and the light we add to fill in the energy gaps?
Truth is the byproduct of clarity. What is revealed with clarity is the truth – maybe it isn’t the truth we want to see or hear, but that does not mean it is not true. For example, when a client asks me whether their partner is faithful, or someone is taking advantage of them, I answer truthfully and if the answer is yes there is always a pause as their mind goes into cognitive dissonance. They cannot make sense of the fact that someone they believe is committed to them could be their betrayer.
It takes a while to integrate the truth, especially in situations where the truth is a dis-integrator of their reality. They asked for the truth that they could not see for themselves or maybe they wanted confirmation of a truth that they knew to be true but it was too painful for them to acknowledge.
Along with the truth comes the consequences. You have heard me say that we do not fear ‘fear’, fear is not a thing. We fear consequences. For example, I do not drive without wearing a seat belt because I do not want to get hurt in an accident. Or I do not drive a long distance without making sure I have plenty of gas in my car – hear my Yuma to San Diego story on the podcast. We usually get an idea of the consequences of truth after one experience. Then those consequences become permanently engraved in our memory for future use.
Our quest for clarity and truth opens the door but we don’t step fully into that clarity/truth portal because of the consequences. Sometimes our fear of the consequences prevents us from asking for clarity or acknowledging the truth of a situation. We do want to know and our curiosity is there but we also want to avoid the consequences, especially the painful ones.
If a client asks about a relationship status and the answer is not what they want to hear, they’ll call me again and ask the same question. And they get the same answer. And then the next question is ‘why’ – why don’t they love me, why can’t they be committed, why can’t they be faithful, why can’t they meet my needs? The answer to the ‘why’ is that it is not about them, it is about the other person. And one thing I know for sure – everyone gives us what they have to give and no more. So while you may think you’re getting someone’s worst, you’re actually getting their very best.
The clarity – truth – consequences path requires courage because to use the clarity we get to acknowledge the truth and to get unstuck and be able to move forward we must be willing to deal with the consequences. To be honest, the entire search for joy depends on our ability to accept the consequences of clarity and truth. And we often ask for clarity and truth when we just want an explanation, an apology, or some kind of acknowledgement of our worth, usually from someone who is already doing their best but they are not meeting our needs.
Can we use the gift of clarity and truth to face the consequences we so desperately try to avoid and see that this is our journey of acc?
I believe that we approach new potentials with a real desire for transformation but we get stuck at the consequences portal. If we can overcome our fear of the consequences, of what will or might happen because of our new choices, and decide that we are going to accept others’ choices and then do what is right and best for us, we have mastered our own integrity and alignment and can move upwards on our ascension spiral, free of the guilt and shame that usually accompanies our choices, free of the fear that something we cannot control will happen, and free of the belief that we will not succeed because others do not agree with us and free of need to balance the fulfillment of our intentions with the approval, acknowledgement, and agreement of anyone else.
Muster up your courage and follow the clarity – truth – consequences path and when you use clarity to see the truth use it to knowledge what is in front of you, choose what can accompany you on the next part of your journey and leave the rest behind, then step into the consequences portal with confident assurance that you have made the right choices for your transformation into the energy congruence of divine harmony and nothing else matters.
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