As we continue our series on boundaries this week, we would like to offer you an analogy that should make it very easy to understand the varying connection points of boundaries.
Imagine, if you will, attending a dance. If your beloved is there and a slow song comes on, you will lovingly take to the middle of the dance floor to sway together in a close and intimate embrace. You may also share the dance floor with others in faster, less intimate dances that still allow you to share an enjoyable experience with another while maintaining more distance between you. And there may be others who you decide you don’t wish to dance with at all.
You automatically respond with whatever is an appropriate level of closeness with your dance partners. But regardless of how close or separate you choose to be with others during the dance, you still care about the well-being of every person who is attending the dance, whether you danced with them or not. You weighed all your options and wisely made your choices based on your comfort and desires while honouring the right of every single soul to be in the dance hall.
Do you see? Having boundaries while being part of the whole is a skill you already have. At a dance you make your choices based on how you feel and how much closeness is appropriate in a per case basis, and you can use that template in your day to day life, as well. You get to choose whose name you put on your dance card and what kind of dance you would like to do with them. It does not need to be any more complicated than that. ~Archangel Gabriel through Shelley Young