I
get a lot of mail from folks who have been following along with my
writings and videos (particularly the Adamu releases) who want to know
when they can expect to receive the next, latest update.This is often a very reasonable question, as sometimes there are very long gaps between releases. As I write this, it has been FOUR MONTHS since my last Adamu release! In that time, my readers have not heard a peep out of me. And this is, sadly, not the first such long hiatus in my writing output. I’d love to have a regular schedule, according to which I bring out a major release each month and have some blog posts in-between - perhaps weekly. But I simply cannot get there. Until very recently I have judged myself and blamed myself for this. I felt there was something wrong with me that I needed to work on to get to a place where I was producing more regularly.
And then, today, a rather obvious thought struck me: why don’t I ask Adamu for his input on this! So I did, and what I got back from him was most informative indeed. Transformative actually. But also, at the same time, a lot of what Adamu shared with me was quite personal to me. And there were certainly parts of this communiqué that I would, under normal circumstances, never have wanted to publish. I have, you see, profound discomfort with coming across as self-aggrandizing. And some of what Adamu had to say to me was… quite flattering to me. So I would simply not have published this. I would have considered it to be one of the many, very useful, conversations I have had with him, and moved on. But, as you will see, Adamu has strongly encouraged me to publish this. He is quite clear that this may be useful to others who perhaps share my struggle with “getting productive” and with “procrastination”. And he is equally clear that my discomfort with potential ego-puffery is not something I need to concern myself with.
So I am sharing this. Because Adamu asked. And because I am choosing not to be motivated by my fears. There is also the added benefit that, whenever someone asks me when they can expect a new release, I can just point them at this conversation. So, here it is…
Zingdad: Adamu, I’d like to talk to you about something personal to me.
Adamu: With what can I help, my friend?
Z: Quite a simple question today, Adamu. I don’t know if this is something you can help me with. But I ask you because it impacts you.
The question, in its simplest form is, “Why can I not get going with the material I should be receiving from you?”
Sometimes I sit here and nothing comes. Sometimes I get bits and pieces, but they don’t hang together correctly and I know it’s not right and I end up deleting what I have written. But mostly I just don’t feel it. Mostly the feeling is that I should be doing something other than writing. Is that laziness? Procrastination? I don’t know. And I struggle with this and since it is mostly your info that is not getting out as fast as it should, I thought to ask you about it.
A: Oh, I certainly can help you with this. But I have a question of my own for you before I answer yours:
What is different when you DO manage to write something?
Z: Everything! I might have months and months of struggling and then, one morning I just wake up and I feel different. I feel ready.
A: And then?
Z: And then it’s usually quite easy. I sit down and write. It’s not exactly effortless. Getting the info is “heavy lifting”. And getting it all straight in my mind takes a lot of work. The writing itself is easy enough. And then there’s a bit of editing and cleaning up to make sure the words represent, as perfectly as possible, the concepts that I originally received. So it takes work, certainly. But it flows and I feel I can do it.
A: So it goes from sticky and impossible to suddenly quite doable.
Z: Yes, exactly.
A: And? What changes? What are you doing differently on these occaisions when it is doable?
Z: I was hoping you could tell me. Then I can just always do whatever that is and I’ll just be able to get on with my writing!
A: (Adamu laughs, a big, old, kindly, belly laugh) Oh my dear, sweet child. Do you not see? You are not doing anything different when you can successfully write. It is simply so that you have some wildly inappropriate expectations the rest of the time. You believe that there should be a release through you, and from me, within some kind of a regular time period that you can control. But this is just not so.
When I speak through you, I do not simply speak to human consciousness. I speak at very specific intervals when human consciousness is ready for what I have to say. Sometimes, when consciousness is transforming relatively rapidly on Earth, I might have a rapid succession of things to say. Then you will be kept busy by me. Sometimes there are blockages that need to be worked out in the collective consciousness of humanity, and what I have to say must wait. Then there is a longer pause. The point is, these things cannot be rushed. And it will most certainly not do to offer information before it’s time. This might actually cause more harm than good.
And then, too, sometimes things are moving along exactly as they should, and nothing need be said for some time.
Beloved one. We are not playing at fun and games here! Nothing is by accident and nothing is random about any of this. We are engaged in a very highly purposeful, highly intentional, process.
So I ask you to entirely let go of the idea that my releases through you should follow a pattern of regularity that you can depend upon. They will not. They will come when I decide the time is right. And, as you have seen, trying to “force it” doesn’t get you anything. You must be patient. And, alas, so must your readers.
So, patience is the first thing that will be required of you going forward. Beyond that I have, what I am sure you will find to be, a very useful recommendation for you.
A Recommendation
Instead of thinking that you must put some time aside to write every day, rather set time aside each day which you call your “tuning in to listen” time. Sit in front of your laptop for this time as it is your style, and what works for you, to record in writing the things that you receive. But please note: you are not sitting down “to write”. You are sitting down “to listen”. If you find what you receive in such a session to be worth recording… write it down. Then do with that as you see fit. If, for example, what you receive on that occasion, takes our central conversation forward, then add that to my communications. If you find what you have written brings that conversation to a logical break, then we will consider that a “chapter” and you can release that to your readers. If, on the other hand, what you receive on that occasion is only relevant to you and your growth, then this is most certainly not of “less value” than an item for public consumption! Rather this is of MORE VALUE, as this is a part of you, fulfilling your core purpose. Which is your own self-healing and spiritual growth. Do remember, as you contemplate this, that you are only able to help others, only able to offer healing, only able to receive shareable information to the degree that you are healing yourself and aligning yourself with your divine, Inner-Self. So, working on yourself must come first. Your spiritual awakening IS your purpose. Everything else, including gifting information to others, is secondary. A beneficial, secondary consequence that comes as a by-product of your true purpose. Nothing more. Nothing less.I see how you became a little confused about this, though. Your spiritual awakening is your own, intensely personal, journey. It occurs in private. Or, at most, in interaction with those who are closest to you. There is no great fanfare about this, even though you advance in leaps and bounds.
Your “public” work, by contrast, garners a fair amount of attention. It brings you (almost universal) positive approval. And it has also become the means of your financial self-sustenance. So, both money and approval. And, to add to this, you are also providing a collection of healing services, which provide you with a sense of healing, helping purposefulness. All of this is quite a powerful combination and it is easy to see how you might get confused and think, therefore, that this secondary benefit is your primary purpose. And hence why this is a most opportune moment to remind you that this is not so.
I’ll say it again. Your purpose for this lifetime is your own awakening. Whatever else you do is secondary.
Z: Can I ask… is this not everyone’s purpose?
A: Let’s not get distracted here, shall we? I am talking to you, about you, now. Not everyone else. So I’ll just answer you briefly and say, no, absolutely not. Everyone has their own journey and they all have their own purpose for why they are here. Those who have chosen to have an ascending lifetime will share this awakening purpose with you. You are quite a small minority, as far as this goes.
But now, back to you. This daily discipline of “tuning in to listen” is absolutely crucial. It is very hard indeed to get a message to you, if you are not open to receiving it. Usually we have to wait for you to ask a question before we can give you the answer. Take what is happening, right here in this very conversation, as an example. It’s actually been some years now that you have been struggling with this very issue. You have been torturing yourself over the fact that you could not easily just sit down and write all the things that you know you feel called to write. You have been blaming and beating yourself up over the fact that you know that there are two more volumes of The Ascension Papers to complete, along with your book with Llualarth that you have also begun, and then there is the new idea of the book on the Dragons that you haven’t even started on that your soul tells you, you must write. You feel like you are just not getting going with these, and you are actually torturing yourself over this.
Z: Jeepers, Adamu, I think you overstate the case. I wouldn’t call what I am doing “torturing” myself!
A: Well you can use whatever word you choose to label this behaviour. But when someone makes the choice, over and over again, to tell themselves that there is something wrong with them, that they are failing themselves, that they are failing others, that they are not fulfilling their purpose, that they are not giving their gift, that they are letting their own divine Self down… and so on and so forth… when there is no possibility whatsoever that they, or anyone else in all the universe, could do even one iota better than they are doing… then that sounds very much to me like an egregious form of self abuse. I don’t think self-torture is an overstatement of the case.
Z: I… wait a minute. I couldn’t be doing better? No one could?
A: Arn*… you have obviously not yet absorbed all that I have been telling you in this conversation. No. It is not possible for you to have been receiving and transcribing more than you have. Or better than you have. Or faster than you have. Or, rather, to be perfectly accurate: you could have spent time and effort exploring all kinds of peripheral information. You could have taken an infinite number of tangents and explored those with me, with J-D, with 8 or with any number of other beings. You could have been writing all day and all night long about any number of subjects under the sun. But that would have meant time, energy and resources would have been diverted away from your core purpose which is…
Z: My own growth and healing.
A: Correct. And if you retarded your own growth and healing…?
Z: Then I would have been even slower and less efficient in receiving the core messages.
A: So apparently you DO understand. Everything is unfolding according to divine will, in divine right order. You could not have done this faster or better. If someone else thinks differently, that is their problem. Let them do better. Of course there are many who are doing all kinds of good work, receiving all kinds of valuable information. And I have no desire to diminish anything that anyone else is doing. But there is a core message that is yours alone to deliver. No one else can do exactly this work that you are called to do. And, certainly, no-one can argue the clarity and fidelity with which you are receiving and transmitting information.
Z: Wow, okay. Thank you for sharing this with me, Adamu. I hear you and I appreciate all you are saying. I know this is true. I will apply this learning. I will spend time each day “tuning in to listen” as you suggest. And if I get personal communications like this one, I’ll keep them to myself. And if I get something that might serve the greater interest. I’ll publish it. So, I thank you and I look forward to talking to you again in my next “tuning in” session.
A: Hmm. Okay. Two things: firstly, this conversation is not yet done. There is more I need to tell you. And secondly, I also want you to publish this as an article when it is done. Others will find it useful.
Z: Adamu, no. I’m not comfortable with that!
A: Please hold your objections until the conversation is over? Then we can deal with them. For now, I want to tell you about your readership. Your audience.
Who is the audience for this work?
It is time for you to understand that your real-time readers, those who are reading these words as you publish them on your website, are your journey mates. In quite a real sense, many of them are your co-creators in that, on the spiritual plane, many of them are consulting with us. It’s actually a bit of a hive of activity here where I am with your Inner-Self. There are many, many Inner-Selves buzzing in and out of communion with us – adding their perspectives and working with us to forge the path we are working on.But, other than a handful of exceptions, the REAL audience for your work is composed of your future readers. What I mean is that your readership will begin to expand somewhat exponentially in the future. You will see relatively little of this within this lifetime of yours. By a wide margin, your actual audience is waiting for you in a future time frame after you have departed the Earth. Even long, long after you have departed.
I can say this to you now, as it won’t distort your ego to hear this: where your work is now loved very deeply by a very small, niche audience it will, in the distant future, be very widely held in very high regard.
I tell you this not to flatter you. I tell you this that you might understand that these ideas that you have that you must rush to publish articles because your readers are waiting… well… that’s just silliness borne of a lack of comprehension of who the audience really is. And also for what we are really doing here.
Which brings me, finally, to the core point I wish to make with all this.
What are you actually doing here?
You are labouring under the grossly mistaken apprehension in your writing that what you are doing is “receiving information”. And it is true that is an aspect of what you are doing. But it is just the tiniest aspect. What you (as your Inner-Self) and your Inner-Selves’ many co-creators are really doing, is fundamentally recreating this entire reality. Firstly we are taking it all in. Uploading the entire reality into the collective mind-space that we are holding. Unpacking it. Reconstituting it. And then recreating it anew as an utterly transformed article. We are collectively outputting a whole new variation of this reality. A variation that includes a place of true Oneness, deep within this separation reality. Yes, it is so, that others may then choose which reality they will inhabit: The one without the Unity Conscious sub-reality within it. Or the one that you are co-creating that is in every way different because it includes a place of true Oneness within it. Obviously your co-creators are choosing the latter with you. Obviously you are inviting others to join you there. And THAT is the real purpose of your writings. To open a door to that reality for others. You don’t HAVE to do this. There are MANY ways to accomplish this same goal. And we are employing all of the means at our disposal. So you need have no concern about this; we will find a way to reach every soul that needs to be invited. And everyone that will wish to transition to that reality will have the opportunity to do so. But you also wanted to issue this invitation whilst still incarnated upon the Earth. You wanted to share this message. You wanted to get it to the very deepest, densest place that consciousness could sink to. So you took yourself there. And then, once there, you began to awaken. And now you are singing your heart song. Fulfilling your self-determined soul’s purpose. Which is to issue this beautiful, grand invitation to a truly delightful, heavenly world.Can you imagine then how sad it is for me to see you flagellating yourself over this utterly mistaken idea that you are somehow failing miserably when you are actually over-achieving marvellously?
Can you see?
Z: I can.
But I seriously can’t publish this, Adamu.
A: I know, I know. You have this horror of self-aggrandizement. Of producing material that shines the light on your own magnificence. You want so much to hide behind a self-effacing façade so that no-one will put you on a pedestal. So that no-one will see your inherent specialness. But what I will tell you right now is that people are not stupid. You are not fooling anyone. Every time you express yourself, people SEE you. So you can stop trying to hide, while at the same time also trying to do your work which, by its nature, calls attention to you and shows your light. You just exhaust yourself. And this is another reason for this difficulty you experience. Quite a key one, actually. You know that each time you publish anything – a communiqué with me, a blog post, or some other written work or video – you know that you are showing your light. You know that you are attracting attention. And this scares the living daylights out of you because you are trying to stay small and insignificant.
Well. My friend. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is: “It’s too late!” You have been seen. So you can really just let go of your desire to keep yourself small. Let go, in fact, of any desire to “manage” your public persona. Just allow the incarnated personality to get out of the way so that the divine might express itself through you. These fears really just place an unnecessarily burdensome blockage in the flow of the light of your soul. And that’s the “bad news”. You actually MUST do the work now of letting go of this silly, old, unnecessary fear of self-aggrandizement. Not only is it no longer helpful… it is now actually directly counter-productive to both your awakening and your public expressions.
Z: Well… that all actually sounds like good news. Time for me to let go of yet more self-limiting beliefs. I’ve had a fair amount of practice at that during this lifetime. I can do some more.
A: I am pleased you take that perspective. And I can actually help you with this. You see, my friend, you have actually been deceiving yourself with this whole little psycho-drama of hiding yourself from others. The truth is that you don’t actually care all that awfully much what others think about you. I mean, of course, you would prefer others to think well of you. Obviously. Everyone would. But you have evolved beyond the point at which you are motivated by others' opinions. You have learned to listen to your own heart and take direction through your heart from your Inner-Self. So clearly you would not actually keep yourself small because of what others think.
So why are you REALLY keeping yourself small?
It is because of what YOU think! You are afraid of your own magnificence. You are afraid that if you acknowledge all that you are, that you will then be called to do great things. You fear that because the poor dear little ego-vessel you are pretending to be for the blink in time that is this lifetime cannot believe it is capable of all the great things you fear you will be called to do. Which is just a silly misunderstanding. The ego-vessel, this persona called Arn (or Zingdad or whatever you are calling yourself) is not the seat of your magnificence. Surely that is obvious. The ego is just a tool. It is the soul that is magnificent. It is just the ego's job to serve the soul. To get out of the way and allow the soul to act, when the soul wishes to act through it. And to get on and do the work when the soul gives it a task. The ego is a worker. A servant of the soul. And the more willing and obedient the ego is, the more joyful and harmonious its journey through life will be. And, of course, it will have the great joy of being an agent through which The Great Work is done.
So, my beloved friend. Are you not glad that you finally asked the right question?
Because now I can finally tell you the good news. This little ego being that feels these fears, that is trying to keep itself small, that is then also angry with itself and is also hurting itself when it doesn’t perform to its own self-created standards, is just playing a silly, needless game with itself.
All is perfect.
You are doing fine. Exactly, spot-on perfectly.
There is nothing that you did wrong or could, really, have done any better. Now that you have this information, of course, you can make better choices. But these improved choices are not about “greater productivity”! They are about greater self-love!
And so, finally, before I ask you if you are ready to change your mind about publishing this article, I’d like to remind you of something.
Do you remember, the first time you worked through The Six Sacred Steps… did you or did you not set as your intention, “to fearlessly and courageously express yourself”?
And, since setting that intention, has your whole life not been transformed in ways both miraculous and beautiful?
Life has become full, joyous and abundant for you, has it not?
Things are working out spectacularly for you, are they not?
Z: Yes. All true.
A: And so? Why would you suddenly change course now? Why would you suddenly let your fears motivate you now? This is just such a silly, small fear! And it’s really no longer relevant to you. So let it go. Share this. See what comes back from Life. See if the world comes to an end because, heaven forbid, something you published actually points to the fact that you are a gorgeous being of Light! And in so doing, you will notice if your fears are grounded in reality or not.
Z: Yes. You are right, of course. Done. I’ll publish this as a blog item and then get on with your recommendations.
Thank you, Adamu. I treasure your love, your wisdom and your patience.
A: You are welcome, young one. If only you could see… the journey has only just begun. There is SO much wonder and joy that lies on the path ahead. For all of us…
[*Arn is my “real” name. Adamu chose to use it here, instead of calling me Zingdad, to indicate that he was speaking directly to my heart]
And so there it is, friends. I’m sure you can see that this is a bit of a departure for me. I don’t normally share stuff when it is “all about me” like this piece is. But I accept Adamu’s guidance and I trust that this will be of use to a few of you. And I hope you can see, as I now begin to, that this wasn’t only “about me”. That it is also about many of you too! But, whatever the case, I am asked to share it, and so I now have.