Conclusion for Rah Ho Tep
Part 3
“Finally, the year was completed. The Prince had just returned to his home when his father died. I spoke with his father on the other side and found that he had known all along of his impending death, which was the only reason why he had agreed to my plan. The plan had been very successful. The Prince spoke with his father before he died and was able to face his death bravely.
I was happy for the Prince, who was now the King. He had grown from being sick and frightened to a strong and virile man. The new King wished me to begin a Temple for him to provide healing and education for his people. I would do so. But as soon as it was started, I would leave some of my most advanced pupils to run it, and then I would move on.
“The King had given me free reign to teach as I wished, and I soon found myself in quite a position of power. He built me a beautiful Temple, and there were many Priests and Priestesses beneath me. I was the High Priest, and there was no one to put me in my place. The schools were successful, and the people were remarkably open to my teachings.
Many wished to worship me and make me something that I was not. The recognition and praise was more of a threat than a treasure, and I constantly monitored my feelings to note any speck of clinging to earthly prizes. I called constantly to my Inner Guide to keep me balanced and to keep my consciousness centered.
But, despite my efforts, I began to fear the call of the riches, adulation, and comfort. I feared them because I began to enjoy them—too much.
“There had been no fear in me in the wilderness, but even though I missed the days of solitude in nature, I never left my luxurious Temple. In the lap of luxury, fear—and yes, arrogance—began to invade my consciousness.
I worked very hard to purify myself, but each day the wealth and recognition altered my mind and hardened my heart. Gradually, I began to change. I was torn. Should I stay there and continue my work, or should I retreat into the wilderness to save my Soul?
“Before I knew it, it was too late. I began to wear the golden garments, and I decorated my quarters like a palace. The food I ate was the best in the kingdom, and I starting looking at women as if they were something to be taken. I knew I could leave, but also knew that I would not.
I found it more and more difficult to reach my Inner Guide and could not understand what was said when I did. Deep inside me I knew I could not understand their message because I did not want to hear it.
Somewhere in my Soul I had always known that my test would be to maintain my purity and humility despite the power, fame and wealth brought by worldly success and recognition. Even though I had suspected such a challenge, I had failed. I lived this way for several decades.
“Then one evening, I had a dream. I dreamed of Radula. The Guide that I had forgotten had somehow gotten through my resistance and touched my consciousness. Standing mutely before me, Radula displayed a scene of an old man dying alone in the desert. I awoke with a start, but could not move.
Slowly, my years as a High Priest were reviewed in my mind. And then I remembered my young ideals and ethics. I felt old and tired. How could this have happened? How could I have lost myself to the temptations of the flesh? Were the ways of the world so tempting, or was I just weaker than I suspected?
“I prayed to Radula to return, but there was no response. I was starving among the most delicious of foods and thirsting amongst the finest of wines. My heart was aching while a kingdom loved me, and I was poverty-stricken while anything I touched could be mine. The rich foods and fine drinks had weakened me.
“Many years of using only my mind while others waited upon my body had made me dependent on the comfort and softness of the life I had created. I even had three wives and had fathered five children without being a parent to any of them. How had I lost control of my life in such a way? My anguish was my secret since I had grown dependent upon the worship of others and could not allow anyone to see me vulnerable, even my old friend the King.
“The fine foods sickened me, and the drinks nauseated me. The women bored me, and the soft environment suffocated me. What was to become of my Soul? I longed to return to the simple days of the wilderness. Perhaps if I returned there I could regain what I had lost. I had grown soft and weak in both body and mind. I was so tormented that I became ill.
“A fever raged for many days, and I suffered the death of the old man alone in the wilderness again and again. Finally, I vowed that if my health returned, I would return to my roots, no matter what. The next day, I awoke, totally cured. My answer had come. I must journey alone into the desert.
“I told no one of my plans. I gave my riches to the poor, except for what was necessary to take care of my children and their mothers. I feared that they hated me because they did not agree with what I thought was ‘enough’. But, I couldn’t leave them to the corruption of my riches. I feared I still had no love for them, but I wished them well as I left alone at dawn and traveled into the desert.
***
“After about a week of travel, I found a small oasis and settled in to find my Self. At last I felt contentment in my beloved wilderness. The beauty of nature far surpassed the riches of man. Every being in nature spoke to me as an individual. There was no deification or jealousy. I was simply a member of the society of earth. I had left the Temple with only a beast and a few provisions, and soon the food was gone.
“As an Initiate, I had learned to go many days without food or water, but now I could not raise my vibration enough. Nor did I wish to. As I traveled alone, I had come to realize that I had gone into the desert to die. It was I who was the old man dying in the wilderness. Gradually, I allowed the life force to leave my body.
“When all my food was gone, the hunger that I suffered was one of purification and cleansing, as the weight of ‘success’ fell from my body. I let the beast go so that it could find its way home, and I gradually slipped into the delirium of starvation and fever. I had regained contact with Radula. The love of my Guide was more important than the adulation of an entire kingdom. In just a few more days, I would be spent of the Earth.
“Maybe I had given up or, maybe, I had followed a divine directive. I would only know for sure on the other side. I could not continue any longer. The vital energy had left my body and now hovered just above my heart. To some, my life was a great success. To others, it was a complete failure. At that point, I could not tell which was right. I had done the impossible, and it had destroyed me. The last two days were as long as my entire life.
“I had surveyed every moment of it and wished I could return for corrections. However, I was now too weak to get the water that was not far away, and hunger had long since left me. On the seventh day, I left my body completely. As I took my last breath, I already felt lonely for the body that I must leave. I felt great anguish for the end of my life. All I could do was ask forgiveness.
“I called to Radula for forgiveness and understanding. The last thing I saw was the Prince, who was now the King, rushing to save me.
***
“I opened my eyes thinking that I would see the higher worlds, but instead all I saw was the inside of the sarcophagus.
“’NO!’ I screamed. I was very confused and disoriented. Where was I? Was I in a grave, sealed alive to slowly suffocate? I began to lose all control of my emotions and went into a state of panic. I pushed at the lid and hammered on the sides around me, but the more I struggled, the smaller the space became and the less oxygen there was to fill my lungs. I started to cough and grasp for air. I was dying. The box around me became smaller and smaller until I could no longer struggle, as there was no space. The lid was inches above my nose. However, the absolute restriction calmed me.
“ I slowed my breathing and tried to remember how I got in this place, but I could not. My mind was blank, my memory gone. Slowly, something began to grow in my heart—a feeling. At last, I realized it was a feeling of love. At first it was far, far away and more like a memory than an emotion. When I attached my attention to it, the feeling grew stronger and closer. At last, it emanated from deep within my heart. Yes, it was Love, the most beautiful love that I could ever remember. A voice, clear as a bell and soft as the morning breeze whispered to my Soul. I recognized it before I could understand the words. It was my Divine Complement.
“’It is your initiation, Beloved. You are inside of the sarcophagus, and the life that you just lived was an illusion, a portion of your initiation.’”
“Her ‘feel’ and her words calmed my Soul and, gradually, I began to remember.
“’Beloved,’ I spoke in a whisper, ‘if you had not come to me, I would have died. In fact, I still may if I don’t remember how to raise the lid. But if I die with you, I will be content.’”
“’You needn’t die, my One. What you need to do is correct your mistake. Find where you began to make your choices from fear rather than from Love and re-enter the illusion to change your intent.’
“Yes, I mused. When did I forget about Love? When did I change my intention? I went back over the life again and again, becoming increasingly aware of the diminishing oxygen level in the sarcophagus. I realized that I had to go into a meditation and raise my vibration back into the fourth dimension because my third dimensional form could no longer survive in the confines of the sarcophagus.
My ego was having a difficult time rising above fear. In response to my thoughts, my Divine Complement began to sing gently into my heart. She sang songs of Venus and of Arcturus, our home before we went to Venus. Yes, I had forgotten Arcturus. I had forgotten the frequency of unconditional love that was the emanation of that reality.
“I began to feel my consciousness raising. I felt my form as pure light and again the trapped, physical form was but a memory. My Complement and I were one again. We were complete and androgynous and traveling into the higher dimensions.
We saw the Crystal City of Venus below us, but we continued on. Then, we saw before us a beautiful vortex filled with violet and golden light. The vortex pulled us into it, and we were deep in the void beyond the vortex.
All was still, completely and blissfully still. We were a small speck of consciousness in a void of raw potential. In this void, there were no emotions and no thoughts. There was no movement and no time. For eternity we stayed floating free in the void.
“Then gradually, off in the recesses of our consciousness came a thought. The thought was followed by a sound, and then by a speck of light. The light became a star and the star became Arcturus. The star was far away, deep inside of our consciousness. We felt the love of it, and allowed that love to act as a tractor beam to pull us closer and closer to our true Home.
The reunion with unconditional love was so intense that it seemed to create an inner explosion that repelled us out of the void, beyond the vortex, past Venus and back into ancient Egypt. I cried out in anguish thinking that I had lost my Divine Complement, but I instantly heard her comforting voice.
“’We are complete, Beloved. I am alive within you, and I will always remind you to remember unconditional love.”
“Reassured, I took a moment to find where in my vision I had arrived. I focused my attention to clear my inner perception and saw the King standing before me. He had just offered to build a Temple for me so that I might be the High Priest and spiritual leader of his kingdom.
It was at that moment that I felt the reactions of fear come into my heart and mind, and my intentions shifted from love to fear. What I had missed before now resonated deep inside my consciousness. I was afraid—afraid of my own corruption.
“Through all of my teachings and initiations, there had been an engram, a core belief, hiding in my deep unconscious. It said:‘Matter corrupts Spirit.’I was afraid that recognition and riches would corrupt me. This fear went unnoticed and seeped into my consciousness like a poison.
Where once I had felt unity with all life, I began to feel separation and limitation. I became separate from those who built and served in the Temple and limited in my ability to view my greater Self. My thinking became polarized into good and bad, light and dark.
Gradually, comparison, competition, judgment and jealousy became a portion of my mental life while resentment and anger filled my emotions. I longed for the simple illumination of my life in the wilderness where I had felt united with all life and had allowed my Soul’s purpose to unfold before me.
“It was the rejoining with my Divine Complement and our journey Home to Arcturus that allowed me to return to that pivotal moment in my initiation vision and uproot the cause of my demise.
I then understood that this vision was a preview of my divine mission, a rehearsal where I could find my hidden enemy—my hidden fear! Where had this engram/core belief, held tightly to my consciousness with fear, come from? I knew that I had to find the cause in order to heal it so I looked back upon my childhood.
“When I was a small child and still living with my parents, I saw that they were very poor. My father had great difficulty in finding fulfillment in his life. He had studied to be a scribe, but he lacked the necessary discipline and often found himself without work.
He had married beneath his class, as my mother was from a family of farmers. However, it was her diligence and ability to grow food for the family, and even to sell at the marketplace, that provided the only security we had. As a small child, I often heard them argue because, when my father did get work, he took the money and gambled it away.
“When I went to the Temple, I thought that I felt guilty for abandoning my mother to her difficult life. Actually the truth was that I felt guilty because I was happy to leave a home with so much quarreling and so little love.
From my parents I learned that lack of material comfort could destroy the spiritual connection of a relationship. I imagined that my mother was actually the nurturing, kind mother I wished she had been, and I blamed my father for robbing me of that mother. I believed that it was his selfish and addictive ways that had ruined my early years.
“When I entered the Temple, I quickly forgot my parents and my unhappy childhood. In all the years in the Temple, I never healed this childhood pain because I had ignored the life I was currently living and, instead, focused on my past lives.
Therefore, a weak place began to grow in my consciousness. A place where I had hidden my secret childhood fears that my father cared more for money than for me. This childhood fear then expanded into my hidden adult fear that I cared more for success and adulation than I cared for my Soul. These fears bonded with my thoughts and a powerful engram grew, which unconsciously molded my behavior and my life.
Because it was an unconscious fear, it was even stronger, as I could not monitor it. My challenge in my initiation was to find this hidden enemy so that I could disarm it with my love force, but I had forgotten the unconditional love of my Higher Selves and the power this love held. Gradually, I became lost in my secret fears of corruption.
“My Divine Complement came to me to remind me that my physical body, my matter, was only the grounded portion of my Spirit. What I had to do to heal my earth-bound vessel was to connect it, consciously, to my myriad spiritual vessels.
I was not a physical being having a spiritual experience. I was a spiritual being having a physical experience. With that knowledge, I could remember to love my grounded vehicle, love my mother, my father and, most important, love my Spirit.
“As I returned to re-live my vision, I would remember that I was a Multi-dimensional Being. This time I would maintain the memory of and communication with my true, Multidimensional SELF. I would keep continuous connection with my sixth dimensional self in Arcturus, my fifth dimensional self in Venus, and my Divine Complement.
“I would hold the anchor in the third dimension while my Complement was anchored in the fourth. While I took responsibility for the daily activities of Temple life, she would direct the flow of Spirit as we grounded our fifth dimensional Venusian life in the foundations of the Temple and blessed it with the unconditional love from our Source in Arcturus.
With this alignment, fear could not take root in my consciousness. I was now aware of my fear, and I could keep it as a guardian to remind me to stay connected to my SELF, guard against corruption and surround myself with love.
“I heard my Divine Complement’s voice, ‘Allow the Love from within to meet the Love from without in a joyous union of Spirit into Matter.’
“I smiled inside my heart. Yes, I would allow her love into my physical body. In that way, we could become merged while I still held a third dimensional form. Together we would gestate, nurture, and protect the Temple of my vision with unconditional love.
My Divine Complement would be kept close in my heart and mind to remind me that I was of my SELF. Together we could transcend the separation and limitations of the third dimension. I was ready now.
“’Yes, I will go with you,” I spoke to the King. “We will build a Temple for healing and enlightenment so that all who enter may learn that love is stronger than fear, and Spirit is alive in all matter!’
“In response, I heard the lid of the sarcophagus begin to raise.”
(above from the book Reconstructing Reality by Suzanne Lie)
Dear Initiates,
I thank you for listening to my story.
In closing, I encourage you to remember that your greatest enemy is the fear that you have hidden deep inside.
If that fear can be brought to your awareness,
it can be loved free.
Please, accept now the greatest lesson of my life:
Love is stronger than fear, and Spirit is alive in all matter!
Blessings from Ra Ho Tep
Channeled through the Arcturians to Suzanne Lie