Show me the depth of your own inner soul self,
that inner self that is there, where no one can see you,
nor look into you.
That is the truth of who and what you are.
It is then, and only then,
that Love reveals its true face.
(Judith Kusel)
All my life I wanted to know the very depths, the core of the Mystery that lies behind what is seen and into that which is unseen, and which holds the greater cosmic whole together. It became a Quest in itself, for I have a natural inquisitiveness and I very deep sense of destiny which is somehow all connected to this and have had that since I can remember.
For the deeper I delve into the Mystery of life and all of Creation, the more I am being brought to the energy of Love itself, for Love, and Life are intertwined and one cannot separate the one from the Other. It is one and the same. For without love we wither and die, like a plant without water and too much sun: - without love life itself loses meaning, for we were created to love what we do and do what we love, and love beyond even that.
It is love more than anything else that gives meaning and purpose to life.
Then how is it that we human beings are having such great difficulty to love ourselves and all of life?
In 2009 I went on the journey, a Quest to find out why I was had been born in Africa, which became an inner and outer journey of discovery itself. It taught me things about life and love which I never set out to find, and yet it gave the core meaning to the new life being formed within me. In itself it became a journey of initiations into the higher realms and into the Mystery itself.
At the very same time, then my inner memory bank started triggering, which intimately was linked to meeting my Twin Flame again, and then just having memory bank, after memory bank cleaved open, and with it intense pain. That pain came from this lifetime, and the dark nights of the soul which I had been plunged in before meeting him, but then kind of triggered more on finally meeting him, whom I yearned for all my life, and of whom I had vivid dreams when I was 17 years old.
So, off I went, leaving all behind and in this I wanted to heal, and I wanted to find the truth in all, and I knew that I could not shrink away, and that somehow my soul took this onto itself and I had no other option. I had to delve into the Mystery that was unfolding for me, not only because I started tapping into vast energy fields, and into immense information never before accessed by man (as in now), and at the same time, having to delve deeper and deeper into my own soul memory banks, and start releasing the anger, the pain, and whatever baggage there was – not only from this lifetime but from what came before – more than this a deep distrust and fear for the very man I loved. Where did that come from and what did it mean?
I am sharing this with you today, for in a sense I know now that ultimately the Higher Pathways of Love will demand this from all and every single one of you. Not going on Quests or journeys like I did, but rather being prepared to delve into the very depths of yourself and then to go and release all the pain, the hurts, the anger of yore.
For a lot of the souls who incarnated since World War II and who then volunteered to assist this whole evolutionary process, had karmic links, ties and patterns with this planet, and this comes from long before Mu and Lemuria, and then to those first civilizations beyond those. This I have recorded in my book “Why I was born in Africa” which I hope to complete this year.
It was in these first ever civilizations that the seeds were sown for what later became the karmic patterns of man, of the collective, and then also the individual souls. As some of the soul groups have been involved with the planet from the very beginning, in co-creative roles, they have returned now to finally put the old to rest, to dissolve and release all the karmic patterns, the links, and all that still needs to be done – so that can move on in the evolutionary process of soul groups and souls and do not have to return here again. We on planetary level cannot evolve unless we have finally cleared and brought the imbalances into balance once more.
We have not all been angels – and we all have the shadow, the light and every human trait within us.
For the whole cosmos evolves – ever evolves and expands upon itself continuously and so it is with souls and soul groups as well, for they are then moving into the higher dimensions and the higher evolutionary states of existence and work in the greater cosmic realms.
We all had soul contracts that we drew up, under the guidance and the great loving care of the Lords of Karma, so that we could meet up with them again in this lifetime at a given time in our journey through life. With some we have karmic debts to clear, old negative patterns to clear, and therefore they will show up in our lives as those who challenge us most, but also those whom we love the most. Some will come in for just a short time, and some for a whole lifetime, and some for just a period of time, but all bring with them immense lessons of love.
So often we resent these lessons of love, for they challenge us to the very core. For hate is very much akin to love, and with some souls more than any other. Yet, behind all the pain, anger, love, and whatever else, there is fear.
Fear to love, fear to truly love and more fear to open to love. Fear of being hurt.
For love is the greatest power there is.
As long as we can point fingers at others, we do not need to delve into the heart and into the realms of love, for we close off the heart, and we refuse to love. Yet, in doing just that, we make ourselves ill and bitterness, resentment, emotional baggage result which smothers our very life force and removes the joy of life and the miracle of living a soul-full, love-full life!
Whatever the other reflects back to us, are but parts we have not owned nor loved about ourselves and most often whatever we see is something which has come over more than one lifetime and needs to be resolved once and for all. Otherwise we will be bonded to that soul for all eternity – until we finally learn the lesson of Grace.
I have found that the more the soul memory banks got triggered, and I could release that old baggage, the pain and karmic links and patterns, the more my heart and soul could open to love. I have healed in so many ways, and my fears have dissipated like mist before the sun. For the first time in my life I am able to love, totally, unconditionally, and to completely. I could not do that before.
I can finally love my Twin Flame for who and what he is, for the soul memory banks have been cleared, and with immense loving Grace. Now I can see the immense Love, the caliber of the man himself, and I can love to the depths of my being and trust with all my heart, soul and the rest.
For pain is a great teacher. It teaches us that something is not kosher, that something is amiss, and most of all, that somewhere there are dragons to learn to love, to tame and befriend. Most often those dragons are not in the person pushing our buttons and challenging us to the very core, but those dragons lie there INSIDE of ourselves, and all that we have not loved nor acknowledged before.
I am standing today in great respect for the cosmic laws, which are eternally there, and once one starts understanding them, it is like the whole cosmic order reveals itself in a few simple words.
Nowhere is this more truth than in this law: WHAT IS WITHIN IS WITHOUT.
What is WITHIN ourselves will reflect on the outside and what is there that is not resolved and churning inside will manifest in form on the outside. What we fear we attract. What we reject, rejects us. What we do not love about ourselves, others will not love about us.
With all my heart, soul, mind and might I want to delve ever deeper into the Mystery of Love itself, and into the Mystery of Life itself.
I want to feel, to experience, to know the depths and breadth and the whole cosmic Being of Love and become that Love with all that I AM.
I don’t want to lose out on the depths of Being – that living my inner truth to the core.
It is not easy, yes, and it pushes me way beyond the norm and always has. But I cannot be true to other than what is there inside my soul and what is there for me to learn and more than this, this lies in the realms of the soul, love and life.
I am tired of walls, fortresses, of all hurts and pain.
I want to live life in pure love and stand naked and stripped to the core.
I am tired of pretend – it never served me.
I am tired of nursing hurts – all it did was hurt me more in the end.
I wish to embrace life and life more abundantly.
I wish to embrace love and love more abundantly.
I wish to delve into the depths of Love and let that ocean of Love carry me wherever it wills.
I wish to love more deeply, more profoundly and love with all my heart and soul.
I wish to embrace my Beloved, with all that he is, and delve into the depths of his heart, mind, body and soul, and then to find that Love is everywhere, in every atom, energy, cell, being, for it is there in the Mystery of what makes him the man, the soul, he is.
I don’t want to shrink in this Quest.
I don’t want to move through life not experiencing Love in all its myriad of forms and disguises.
More than this, I want to open my heart to more and more Love, and Love infinitely and eternally and then even beyond that.
There is a huge sign in the heavens and it reads: NO SHRINKING ALLOWED!
(Judith Kusel)
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