Eliza: Volte-face
Oye! The alteration in my feelings and direction altered quite irrevocably with the beginning of this New Year. It’s as if I was going in one direction and then woke up and found myself traveling in a completely new direction. Yet it is all me… now, at least.
How to explain what happened during this past year leaves me a little speechless. I am not going to blame anyone or even myself. There were no mistakes made or injustice done. What I went through was another layer of experience to add to my already thick portfolio.
What is my truth? What is my direction? Where am I going?
I really can’t answer those questions with surety, thus is the current momentum of change. We are all being stripped of whatever doesn’t belong to us, what we don’t need any more, whether it be another person’s ideas, our own prejudices and beliefs about ourselves, our fears and doubts… all of it must be left behind. The higher frequencies of the planet will not allow us to go forward into the new with these things.
For some people, these changes will demand that they release material objects, old dreams, old hatreds, old disappointments, and certainly old beliefs and ideas.
For others, it will mean that they step into an entirely new way of life, following their inner guidance and going on faith that what they do need will present itself in the appropriate moment.
For me, I walked away from the notion that this awareness was walking out of my physical vessel and re-blending with a “higher” aspect of Self. Perhaps I still am in the process of walking out, only I don’t feel any different and I really don’t care. I want to remain and serve with other starseeds in bringing in and anchoring the frequencies of higher dimension here, on earth… in short, assist in bringing heaven TO earth. Not escape to “heaven” or to another planet or star system until the journey here is completed.
The guidance I received in the last year mostly did not come from within. For all that I have written about listening within, perhaps I wasn’t listening well enough. I really can’t apologize if people are a bit shook up after my abrupt volte-face, as we must each determine whether or not we continue to resonate with a certain belief or direction. I discovered that the process I was supposed to undergoing did not resonate or sit well with my practical, grounded nature. So I let it go.
For those readers who miss some of the posts that I have purged from the blog, I will say a few things. The blog is a creative outlet for me, an ongoing exploration of my journey. I share it with others as I feel that by doing so, some readers will resonate to my expressions and find an echo or similarity in their own journeys. The posts have not been destroyed yet, just removed. There was too much to edit each post as I had 418 entries!
I’ll be blunt. It’s my blog. I’ll put on it what I resonate with, not what others want to see. If you no longer resonate with what is published, kindly find something that does. Negative comments will be spammed or trashed.
In regards to the ascension ceremonies that I wrote about… I did not “see” these things as in a vision, but immersed myself as if I were writing a story. Any good writer knows of what I speak, as do people who paint, play music or write poetry. You go into another world, outside time and space, accessing the right hemisphere of the brain. Words cannot describe the feelings, the sense of suspension, or the ability to see into another place and time. Everything that I “saw” during the ascension ceremony of my higher aspect was written down, with no input from any other persons. The expanded version of the second ascension ceremony was a little different as details, most especially in the manner of dress, kinds of music and food presented, were given to me by another individual who shared them with me after the fact. I took the details and blended them into what I had written previously, but the general layout was as I saw it while writing. Still… these things were witnessed by “me” as Eliza and not as Lady Tazjima or anyone present at the ceremonies.
We are One, yet we are unique. I am a soul aspect or extension of yet higher beings… going back to Source. At this point, I am releasing all sense of being this or that, whether I am a starseed from the Pleiades or Venus or both… my families, everything. I am releasing it all. I am no better, certainly no worse than the most ignorant person on this planet, lost in their nightmare fears.
I’m not lost. And I am not currently wrestling with demons or moodiness. I was actually laughing quite heartily at work today, which was pleasant after being so serious for months. I wasn’t living. I had turned my back on the simple pleasures of physical life here, on this crazy planet. It is my intention to reach out this year and sample some of the sweetness of physical life, as I do my work, whether at my job, at home or on the road.
The reason that I have removed some of my posts is simply because I no longer resonated with them. And as author and owner, I am the final arbitrator of my own work. Such is the profound alteration in my approach to living and being here. I am looking forward to visiting some of the places I love that are nearby when the weather warms, spending some time in the forest and by moving water.
And I will be doing more artwork. I have had to overcome some inner barriers regarding that part of my life, some deep self-doubt about my ability to bring forth work that others would appreciate. I realize that I have some talent, so perhaps you can’t imagine why I would hesitate. I really can’t explain it; perhaps the fear stems from another lifetime, but also the fact that women in my family were expected to be wives and mothers. I’m neither. So, my writing and my art are my children, the expressions of my body. This is to be my primary focus for some time into the future. Whatever else there is to be discovered will reveal itself in time.
I’ve watched enough documentaries about artistic people to realize that many times genius travels in league with madness or illness. This world has not been a pleasant place for artists of any kind except for those who persevered despite all obstacles. Now, with the rising frequencies, I feel like I can express myself more easily in many different ways. Life is taking on a whole new perspective for me.
I appreciate the tremendous support that I have received of late. Those of you who have been made uneasy about my abrupt change of direction, I hope that these feelings will be seen as an opportunity to exploring and perhaps releasing some of your own fears about going forward into the future.
Many of us really don’t understand just how precious our ability to FEEL is. Human beings are amazingly adaptive, but as we move into this year and beyond, there will be those individuals who dig in and resist all change. Change WILL come; it is inevitable. It is the ONLY constant in life that you can count on. So be willing to adapt and adjust accordingly or face the consequences that arrives when you resist.
I thought that perhaps I was resisting change when I altered direction, but I realized that I did not resonate with what someone else wanted me to do, to go. It was a direction, a place that I did NOT resonate with at all. And I wasn’t feeling the re-blending process as being real to me, evident, despite my admitted sensitivity to energies so questions began arising. Still, at first up to the date of my “ascension” I followed the story line… that is, until I woke up the next morning. That was over two months ago and little has changed in my life except I spent two miserable months doing really intense past life clearings. And then last week, everything changed once again. I was cut free. I cut myself free and said no more… no more!
If anyone thinks that I’ve been overtaken by an entity, let me reassure you. I have been there. Twenty years ago, I experienced a psychic break and ended up housed in a mental ward for two weeks in Idaho, oddly enough just down river from the Nez Perce Indian Reservation. I do know the feeling of having an entity lodged within my being. I do not have that feeling now. My mind is clear and I am able to function quite normally at work and home.
I hope to resume channeling but have chosen to put that expression on hold for a time until I have had a period of adjustment. Last year was very trying for me. I know it was for many people, but I can only go from my own experience.
If anyone has comments or questions about the blog, feel free to contact me. One caveat, if you have negative comments about what I’ve done or where I appear to be going, save it. I cannot please everyone. I do not write this blog to gain popularity or to win and influence people. If I reach a few, that satisfies me, but it is not my ultimate aim. I’m not going to even call writing a “mission” any more. It’s simply a means of expression that I enjoy. Take it at that level and do not attempt to put more into my words than really is there.
Right now, for me at least, it is all about the journey, not the destination. I’m not writing a book or a sacred tome. I do not expect my words to be savored by the ages that come… we will have moved far beyond what I can currently express now via our limited language. And those who want to cling to what has been shared before and what seems now lost, why? Why cling? Open yourself up to the incoming energies and embrace the opportunity to change, transform and rise in consciousness. Embrace the wholeness of your essence, which is much, much more than I can possibly express on the “pages” of a simple blog post.
I guess I am requesting to be released from any expectations that any person who has read these words has unconsciously placed upon me. I am NOT your savior. I am not someone who is more special. Perhaps I have a few gifts… but so do you. Enjoy the words and then go enjoy life. Do not cling to that which is ephemeral. In the end, it will disappear and reappear as something altogether new.
Life has endless possibilities. Let go and let life happen, with joy, enthusiasm and the simple wonder of a child.
Namaste,
Eliza Ayres
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