Eliza: On Transitions and Transcendence
The dog days of August are upon us, literally… as the great Star of Sirius rises in the dawn to mark the beginning of a New Year.
We’ve had a long heat wave this week. We had three days where temperatures exceeded three digits and a couple more of upper ‘90’s. I haven’t been sleeping well the last couple of nights, whether due to the heat or something else; I can’t really say. I was tired enough and feeling slightly nauseous this morning so came home early from work.
Yes, I am leaving soon… ascending back to re-blend with Higher Self, but still I have bad days. Today I crashed and burned, having a difficult interview with a volatile young inmate. It was enough to handle on a good day; when I was not feeling well, it was a complete strain. I had to terminate the interview since the inmate was getting verbally abusive, something that is apparently quite common for him. At the moment, I completely dropped into 3D thinking and acting. And left after having a short discussion with the offender’s mental health provider. Yes, this job can be a challenge.
Yet, one of my friends pointed out that the inmate was acting out in anger due to a deep underlying fear. It would take a long time to work with such a person to be able to penetrate that fear and that’s not in my job description. I thought once that I would enjoy being a counselor, but perhaps not here…
When I told myself that I had crashed and burned, I turned to my little rose quartz pendulum that I consult on occasion to verify hunches. What I asked may surprise you, which may explain why I was feeling so disorganized today. Today was the anniversary of my plane crash in France, many, many years ago. When I died as the result of a femoral artery bleed-out due to being hit by shrapnel.
Besides that realization… I have also been fielding some intense anger and grief over the failure of my one marriage in this lifetime. I may have written elsewhere that my husband, who died prematurely at age 59 of cancer, became one of my spiritual guides some years after his passing.
Folks tend to think that their spritual guides know more than they do. I’m telling you that that isn’t always the case. Sometimes they become a guide for the sake of their own learning. And in his case, it was to make up for his failure to live up to his promise to care for me while I was with him. After we got married, he stopped talking to me. I know a lot of women who suffer with husbands just like this.
Despite his intelligence, David was emotionally repressed and didn’t know how to comfortably share his feelings with me. He finally connected with another lady where he could, but she was married to another person (which probably made it safe for David). That was enough for me. I was crushed that he couldn’t feel comfortable enough around me to do the same. This all happened in my thirties. I’ve grown a lot since then.
What I was experiencing at the time of our marriage was a spiritual break-through. During those years, I first encountered spiritual healing. I underwent a psychic surgery from a gentleman from the Philippines. I was told that I had great light. And I went to my first channeling sessions. I was encountering marvelous things and it frightened the beJesus out of my husband. Over 30 years ago, I was an awakening light-worker although that term hadn’t even been hatched yet.
So, why the lingering grief and anger. Well, I still love the man. I never remarried, not because of any outgrown devotion to a dead cause, but simply because no other person that I met accepted me for what and who I AM. I simply wasn’t going to give myself over to a lover or husband and then be stomped again emotionally.
The amateur psychologists out there might say it was because I never met the right person or I was too picky… or perhaps to resistant to surrendering fully and opening to love.
Sorry, it wasn’t any of those things. I met some interesting guys through the years, some of whom went on to marry nice ladies. If I was at all vaguely interested in them, they weren’t interested in me. And if they were interested in me, I was repelled by them. Except for one male friend locally who has assisted me with home projects and gone camping and hiking with me a time or two, there are no men who are even close to me at all.
It is as if there is a ring-pass-not erected around me, which has been frustrating until I finally began to understand its purpose over a year ago.
I wasn’t meant to have a relationship while here. That was the message my body was sending me all this time. I willfully ignored it or misread it, but there it was the reason for my automatic reaction of repulsion when touched by a male other than in the most neutral of settings.
And then, this spring, I find out that I am scheduled to walk out, just after I find out that I am a walk-in. Sudden understandings spring out at me full-fledged. Before, the timing wasn’t right nor was I in the right frame of mind to receive the answer to the question that I had been asking for years, “Why am I alone?” And I was seeing and yearning for relationship in the time-worn 3D manner… wanting someone physical to cling to for support and protection.
While many light-workers serve alone in their communities because we are spread thinly across the face of the planet, there was still another reason waiting for me in the wings… until that time when I was ready to understand and to appreciate the tremendous patience of Sanat Kumara and my uncle, Lord Adrigon, for their perseverance in attempting to reach me all these years.
I have known of my connection to Venus for 20 years, after the onset of my entity-induced psychosis. I just “knew” it and the years have proven that connection to me over and over. Knowledge of my connection to the Pleiades came much later, only a couple of years ago when I was confirmed as a Pleiadian starseed. Just what was the connection between those two very different cultures (not that I knew much about either one at the time!)?
The answer to that question came just this spring along with the sure knowledge that I was a walk-in about to prepare to walk-out.
This morning I received an email from a reader who stated that he didn’t understand why I was dropping the ball (or the wrench) and leaving when the job obviously wasn’t yet done. I thought about that today, in my tired state, and couldn’t really come up with a satisfactory answer until this afternoon.
As a first waver, I’ve been involved with the evolutionary progress of the Earth for at least 15,000 years and perhaps more before I incarnated on Venus as Tazjima. Checking in today, I determined that I have spent at least 535 lifetimes upon this planet, actively working in various roles that would ultimately en-lighten this planet and its inhabitants.
This afternoon, I also realized that ascension is kind of a relay race. It’s not really a race, but there are tag teams or relays of helpers / assistants. I’m being retired from the field so others can work who are fresher and have different missions than my own have been. It is time for others to take over the on-the-ground jobs that are still to be done or may not even yet taken form in someone’s imagination.
The new paradigm is undergoing a brilliant and sometimes difficult birth. It takes beings with insight, dynamic personalities and such to become involved in exposing the dying paradigm and all that has nearly brought this world to the brink of destruction. And there will be still others who are living demonstrations on how to live as a light worker or being of the New Earth.
As sad as it might sound, that is not for me. I am going Home, not because I am tired and quitting the game, but because I have been recalled. I should have gone much earlier but wasn’t ready to pay attention. However the planets have lined up and I have fallen into alignment with the Will of my Higher Self and must surrender and let go.
I’ll have you know that I am certainly not quitting as some might think… from an human ego point of view or one with limited ability to comprehend that not all things have to make sense to the human beings here.
My families, both the VaCoupes of the Pleiades and that of the Kumaras, of Venus, are HEAVILY involved in the Earth Project. I will continue to work from Higher Planes in whatever capacity that Lady Taz commands from on board the ship of her uncle, The White Winds.
On board that great mother ship is a University of Light wherein hundreds, perhaps thousands of lightworkers and ascending humans are instructed on spiritual laws and other topics. I might act as a Counselor for Ground Crew like my cousin, Lord Rananda, or in some other capacity. We serve out of Love and a desire to assist humanity.
As another cousin of mine once told his small group of followers, “I go before you to prepare the way…” The realization that I used to argue (in my head) with Jesus and then came to the conclusion that I could accept Him as a brother now seems rather poignant seeing that it is quite true or nearly so in one sense of the word. He is not a brother but He is a Kumaran relative of mine.
Now I realize that speaking of my relatives from 6D, etc., may make some people uneasy or even jealous, don’t be. It is simply my way of relating to the place where I will soon find a part of me interacting with family and friends of whom I wasn’t even aware of just months ago. I am fully aware that I am a multidimensional Being, with existence in many dimensions, of which the Pleiades and Venus are just stepping stones. Yet they are my next stepping stones…
Ascension is step by step. Life is day by day. If we allow our imagination to hang out too far our feet may not be able to catch up with them. The key to creating a new world is balance. Use the imagination to see the big picture and then go back and design the individual steps that will take you there by allowing your intent and focus to get you there, with grace and ease. That means allowing yourself to dream and then let the dream take shape in unexpected ways. In other words, release your need to control the outcome so the Universe can surprise you.
What could be more unexpected but to discover one day as you’re lying there in a feverish state to hear that you will soon be rejoining family and friends on a higher plane? I suppose many things, but I’m not dying to the world, merely stepping aside for others to complete what has been started.
Not all of us are good at finishing things. I know that about myself every time I pass by the unfinished painting on the easel in my craft room. I have finished one thing or nearly done and that is my mission here with you.
If this knowledge brings up emotions, whether anger, grief or bewilderment, just know that it is an opportunity to do more clearing on the things that I am currently mirroring for you, namely a strong sense of abandonment and being left bereft, whether by God or loved ones.
I have felt these things myself and understand the anger and fear that crops up. People have a tendency to want to cling onto the known. For some of you I have become a surrogate sister or even mother… and rarer still, a possible future relationship. I am none of those things, but they will come to you in the form of another person if you let go of your fears and expectations placed “out there” on others.
As a daughter of Venus, I carry a rare form of Love within, one that is detached and strong, as well as gentle and enfolding, simultaneously. I let you go so you can grow into your own beauty. And I enfold you in my Heart so you feel the connection through me to Source. That same Love would not be survivable in a normal human relationship. Not for me.
From my position as a Light Being, I can assist more people than I can from here as another human being, at least in form. As some of you open up to telepathy, you may even connect with my energies. I will delight in continuing with my stories and teaching from a “higher” plane, for your sake.
I am One who has served in Love and will continue to do so through the Grace of the Divine Mother, who is Mother to us all.
Let me go. Deal with your anger, your angst and bewilderment. These are your tasks to do, not mine. Your responsibility. For those who linger on this plane there is much to do, but first clear your own bodies, hearts and minds of the conditional misunderstandings of what Love and existence truly are. Life is an adventure, dear ones, make it so for you.
I AM Tazjima Amariah Kumara, daughter of Venus and the Pleiades, who has lived among you, broken bread and shared salt. And now I depart. Rejoice, for in my leaving I AM anchoring a great light that will assist all who remain. And we will meet in other places and times someday and share our memories, in laughter and companionship for we are truly One.
Namaste.
All Right Reserved, Elizabeth Ayres Escher, http://www.bluedragonjournal.com