Again,
we take a moment to review the beginning of our long journey into the
Light of our true SELF. As we look back at who we were and what we were
doing when we first started our Path, we realize that this Path is
comprised of many stairs.
THE STAIRWAY
I awake, or have I just fallen asleep, to find myself on a
stairway. Above me the stairs get brighter and of a looser form. Below
me the stairs become darker and more constricted to form.
I look at the stairs above me and feel a sparkle of love calling me
to climb them. But when I try, I find that an inner pull urges me to
turn and go down the stairs below me. I turn to look down the stairway
and feel a fear that chills my heart.
“Why would I want to go down there?” I say to myself.
“Because you already have,” whispers a voice that seems to emanate from the sparkle of love above me.
“If I have been to that place,” I ask, “why would I ever want to return?”
“You do not need to return,” the voice breathes into my heart. “You have never left.”
“No, that is not possible. I feel myself only here, upon this step”
“But you are on other steps as well. In fact, there is a ‘you, in
fact, there are many of ‘you’ on every step. You see each step
represents a dimension, a plane of existence.”
“If there are so many fragment of myself, why don’t I know about them?”
“Do you feel the pull from the steps beneath you?”
“Yes, I do.”
“That pull is coming from the portions of your self that are lost
in the lower dimensions. They are lost because they believe they are
alone. Because you have not freed them, you believe that you are alone.”
“How can I free them when I feel like I am lost myself?”
“Oh my one, you are not lost. You have found your higher voice; you
have found ME! Your ‘lost’ fragments of self have sent you up this
stairway, like a scout, to see if there was another way. Now you have
found it. Go back now, and share your experience with them.”
“Please don’t make me leave. I remember it down there now, and I want to stay here.”
“You shall stay where you are, just as you will stay where you have been. You will not move, instead, you will expand.”
“Expand?”
“Yes, you see yourself now as a single point of awareness. Can you
extend that awareness to imagine that you are standing on every step?”
I close my eyes and call on my imagination. I have always had a
vivid imagination. Oh yes, there they are. There is a person on every
step. Each one has the same amount of light and density as the step on
which they are standing. They all look very different, but there is
something about them that feels the same, as well.
“Yes,” the voice replies to my thoughts. “They all are of one consciousness. Can you feel how you are I are the same?”
It seems difficult for me to imagine that I could be the same as
this wise and loving voice, but I close my eyes and try to make the
connection. At first all I can perceive are the many voices of doubt,
ridicule, and fear calling from the stairs below me. But, gradually, I
also feel the love and support sparkling from the stairs above me.
With this feeling, my consciousness and perception begin to expand
more and more. I feel pulled like a rubber band being pulled so tight
that it is ready to snap. Tighter and tighter I feel the pull until I
can barely stand the tension.
Then, with a sudden SNAP, I understand. I am the loving voice that has guided me. I am the pull of fear and doubt. I am each person upon each step. In fact, I am each step and the imagination that created them. I am ALL IN ALL.
“Yes,” resonates the loving voice from every person, every step,
and every dimension. “WE are a multidimensional being. It is OUR
expansion from a singular consciousness to multidimensional
consciousness that allows us to KNOW who we are.”
As we awaken to who we really are, we can more easily find the courage to enter the shadows of our unconscious mind.
THE SHADOW POND
I turned to walk away, but with my very first step I knew that I
must stay. If I could not see what was in the pond, maybe I would have
to feel it. Maybe, I would have to actually enter the pond and feel its
dark waters upon me.
The thought of entering the murky water made me cringe. Should I
keep my clothes on as some meager attempt at protection or should I
enter the water as naked as the day I was born?
I knew the answer. I must face the depths without any external
protection. I must find my protection in the courage that it would take
to enter the murky pond. Courage, which was deep within my core, would
be my only protection to face the darkness and the secrets that it held.
I shed my clothes quickly, before I lost my nerve, and jumped into
the foreboding pond. I held my breath and immediately dove to the
bottom. I navigated with my arms, as I was not quite ready to open my
eyes.
When I touched the bottom of the pond, I knew that I must open my
eyes while I still had enough air in my lungs to remain at the bottom. A
vision of muck and grime awaited my opening eyes. But what was
that-just over there?
Something golden was sparkling against the surrounding filth. Oh it
must be rescued, I thought. It does not belong here. This golden thing
is different from the dirt that surrounds it.
I swam to the golden sparkle and wiped the mud from its surface.
The dark mud hovered in the water, waiting to again cover the golden
object. I reached for the treasure with the intention of bringing it to
the surface, but found that it was held fast to the bottom of the pond. I
pulled and pulled, but it did not budge.
Finally, I stood on the silt-covered bottom to gather enough
resistance to free the bit of gold. My toes squished into the sticky mud
and my struggle filled the water with silt. I had to close my eyes to
protect them and pulled on the golden object while I pushed against the
floor of the pond.
Yet nothing worked, and I was running out of oxygen. Would I have
to abandon the treasure that lay hidden in the murky pond’s depths? I
stood still for a moment and released my hold on the golden object. It
instantly sank back into the mire.
Only a small portion of it glistened through the filthy water. With
shame, I realized that I could not free the treasure. Then I remembered
that it had been my intention to “feel” the water. Yes, now I felt it.
It felt like shame, and guilt, and most of all, it felt like fear.
The fear permeated every rock and every atom of the pond. It is no
wonder that which was beautiful could not be freed. As I stopped my
struggle, the mud that had filled the water began to settle-settle onto
me.
I felt it clawing at my skin reminding me of feelings that I had
felt outside of the dark pond. NO! I must leave these depths and the
feelings that they aroused in me. I could not save the treasure. I would
have to leave it in the murky depths.
Besides, I could hold my breath
no longer. I must return to the surface. The thought of escape felt
good and necessary. I swam to the surface with a mixture of relief and
sadness, relief that I could free myself from the silt and sadness that I
could not free the hidden treasure.
My head bobbed above the surface of the pond and a cool rain rinsed
the dirt off my face. I swam to the edge of the pond and pulled myself
onto a rock. Standing, I allowed the gentle rain to cleanse my body. The
feel of the fresh water upon my skin rejuvenated and calmed me.
The mud of the pond was easily cleared, for it was never mine. I
realized then that the filth of the pond was something that I had
temporarily taken on, temporarily experienced.
I looked at the pond again. It seemed clearer now. The mud that I
had stirred up had again settled to the bottom. I remembered the bit of
gold that was still trapped there. How could I free it?
I would have to again enter the murky pond and swim down into its
darkest depth. Could I remember my own purity, even when the mud clung
to my form? Could I find the bit of gold hidden beneath the silt and
bring it to the surface?
“Yes,” I cried to the sun that was breaking through the clouds. “I
shall find what has been lost. That which has been buried and forgotten
shall be found and returned.
“Something of great value is lost in the depths of the darkness, and I must retrieve it.”