Dear Jennifer:
I have been a healer for such a long time, even before I knew what the
word meant. As the one who holds the light for my soul group, I am
always there to help them but every time I try to let go and to step
away from this role, they always seem to pull me back. Someone has a
problem, gets sick, is in need of help, has an accident or a crisis, it
seems to never end, and this includes my adult children too. I’m ready
to live my own life now, without being so responsible for all of them.
When is it my turn to be helped and supported, to be free of this burden
and to live my own life?Jennifer’s Answer: Congratulations on reaching this fork in the road. Now you just have to choose which path you are going to take, without feeling guilty or shamed by your choice. Your desire to hold light for your soul group is honorable and admirable but they can do their work without your help (although it is easier for them when they have your energy) and you don’t need their permission to let them go, you just need to give yourself permission to be free of this burden.
There are two things that can make this process easier, one is to start focusing on the outcome you want to achieve in your new role as healed and whole. There may be things you have put off in your life, not had the time, money or energy to do or set aside to do when someone else’s problems are addressed. Keeping those in the forefront will remind you of the ways you will keep yourself occupied in your new roles.
The other way to make the process of removing your energy from this soul group easier is to acknowledge that everyone is powerful and sovereign in their lives. While they enjoy using your energy and having it available, they don’t really need it and they are using your energy as an excuse to not use theirs. Everyone has access to the same amount of power and energy, there are no ‘power-less’ or energy deficient people, just people who do not use their power and/or energy wisely or effectively.
What you really want in this situation, though, is for them to show you that they are ready to let you go, that they can function well without your assistance and won’t ‘crash and burn’ in your absence. You also want their permission to leave, in a way that absolves you of any responsibility if they do fall back into old ways and patterns of behavior. But that is something you have no control over. As long as you are holding an artificial vibration for them, they won’t have any reason to use their own energy. Once they are forced to explore how they can expand their own energy, instead of using yours all of the time, they will learn to do that.
And you will have done the work you need to do by showing them their potential and letting them rise to these new levels, instead of placing your energy in front of them and then waiting for them to integrate it until it is completely done. That was never part of your soul group healing contract although you have taken it on. In order for your to live your own life and to be free, you must free yourself of the fear that you won’t fulfill your soul contract with this soul group, that you are not being responsible if you are not micro-managing their healing process and that you aren’t doing your work if you are in joy and enjoying your life, while others still need healing.
You are ready for this because your work is beginning to feel burdensome to you, and you are the only one who can give yourself a ‘turn’ at being happy and in joy. So let yourself go, set yourself free and live your life. The soul group will find someone else to help them with their healing work and you will find new groups to work with as well, who are more attuned to your energy, who are less needy and the work is more balanced and fulfilling for you.
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