It’s Been One of those Weeks… 27 May 27, 2013, by ElizabethThis past week I hit a rough patch of water, perhaps exaggerated by the intensity of the energies related to the full moon and lunar eclipse. All my contradictory emotions and feelings seemed to well up inside. I felt moments of connection and elation, as well as the depths of self-hatred and remorse. It was like the gutters and sewers of my astral body were being scrubbed out, with all the debris laid bare to see and feel. Difficult to experience and it’s easy to say, just let it pass through you. Well, pass through it did. I tried not to hang onto to any of the images or emotions that flitted by, but there were moments of feeling very uncomfortable. And my body was extremely fatigued as if I was wrestling with the inner demons all night, although I was sleeping well. Isn’t the process of ascension a wonderful one? Such highs and lows as cannot be experienced except in dramas and all with inner dialogue.
My time spent in meditation was more intense and satisfying, leaving me feeling quite happy and balanced. Yet the next day, I would again plunge into dark depths of character. Ah, how about a week of balanced emotions and feelings?
Obviously I still have some work to do, as all of us do; I am no exception. And the inner connections, while there always, have gone silent again, so no channeled messages.
Since I cannot be responsible for other people’s growth, I need to focus in on my own, thus I am sharing some of my process, as difficult as it can be at times. And I feel that other people need to open up to discovering the means to communicate with their own inner nature and guides.
I do know that we need to be willing to look at what is darkest within and to embrace that darkness, the uncomfortability and self-estrangement. It is a part of the wounded self, the little child that has been damaged through exposure to the manipulations of the departing paradigm. It is the one who has been taught or coerced into self-hatred or even self-punishment. It is the one who refuses to cooperate out of fear of being punished or being rejected yet again. It is the one who profoundly feels that they do not fit the mold that “society” has placed before it, who hates fitting in, who resists with every ounce of their being and yet the hatred and anger is inner directed.
There is no answer or therapy that can address this inner wounding fully except that the individual find something to love within and come into self-acceptance and finally into Self-love. During the course of this process there moments of revelation and some of profound shock as one realizes that all that is dark within the human spirit exists within. And equally profound is the discovery that one is truly deserving of the love of Self and of the Creator, as one contains the experience that the Creator sought when bringing this world into being.
The deeper I journey within, the more I discover that is paradox; it will never make sense to the rational mind. A wonderful teacher reminds us that the fifth dimensional world can only be reached through the union of the higher mind and the inner sanctuary of the heart. We must pass through the veils of forgetfulness and remember all that we have been, not to pore over it and dwell in self-condemnation, but profound acceptance. We came into being so we might act for Creator in the process of learning about itself. And now the Creator is calling us home. It is time to accept that we have been everything and experienced everything there is under this sun and it is time to return to source, through the inner journey of self-discovery.
We are more than what appears on the surface, much like the proverbial iceberg that floats on the frozen seas; there is more of us beneath the surface than shows above. And we are more than the darkness we seem to be experiencing right now. The light is shining through the ice, glimmering and shimmering with beautiful colors, colors yet unknown to this world, as we are unknown to ourselves. We are in the process of opening up to our full multi-dimensionality and it is an extraordinary and sometimes difficult journey. Yet we persevere because we all contain an inner drive to do so, especially those of us who are wayshowers.
I don’t always feel that I am worthy of that title, wayshower, yet I know in my heart that I am driven from within by a mighty force, by the force of Love for all life, by Love. Yet this love is not sentimental and neither is it cruel. It is a powerful force that fuels my search for balance and equanimity, for seeking the truth that exists outside the modes of society and the veils of forgetfulness. It is a force that exists without and outside the ability of words to describe it.
We are all leaving the debris of the third dimension behind. It will disappear from our senses and experiences given time to make the passage, but that passage takes intent, effort and focus. One cannot simply decide one morning that they wish to ascend and then make it so; it takes work, daily work. Part of that work is coming into an acceptance of every aspect that you discover of your personality and to seek to release everything, all the labels of “good” and “bad”, “light” and “darkness”, as that is being left behind, too, as we move slowly out of duality, out of judgment, out of condemnation of what is not understood or known.
Humanity is moving into a field of unity, back into the Oneness from which we emerged so very long ago and just a moment ago in the ever present Now. As we flow forward all that we took on as labels and roles, as costumes and lines, is being stripped away. There is bound to be some regret, some grief for the passing of what has been known even if the experiences within those boundaries and structures have been difficult ones. Let the grief come as I have this past week; it is all a part of the process of dying to the old and being reborn into the New.
I guess the answer to my question if one exists is to live in the Present. Accept yourself as you are right now, good, bad, ugly or by whatever label you wish to give to yourself. Know that you are loved by the Creator, by your Mother / Father God, by the angels and archangels, by all of Creation for the work that you do here. You can drop the labels and step out of the old worn garments and into the new body of light that is even now being prepared for you.
Focus on being who you are now and who you are in the completeness of your being. What that encompasses lies yet ahead to be discovered. Open your senses, physical and non-physical and take it all in, one present moment at a time. The journey never ends and lies before you on the path Homeward bound.
I am your sister, in light and love, Elizabeth.
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